Faaack... still failing to be with people. I got my school computer, and loaded 5 different games on it that day. I have a place to put the shit I write now, but I havn't! I shouldn't try extra hard, it would probly hurt me more than help me.

It's hard to believe my birthday is here in less than a month. I never really have much of a celebration, it's probly been a few years since I've even been to ANY kind of party. There is one present I really want, and that would be to see someone I met, but I'm almost entirely sure I've already fucked that up, me being scared to talk to people and all. But it does stem from the thought that if I do talk, I'll fuck something up. But goddamn I would go any distance to see that girl. Is that pathetic? I'm not sure. But, I should really stop hoping, the hoping leads to fantasizing, and that leads to even more wanting than you started out with. I havn't even seen her again. But that still doesn't shut down my hope... Goddamn I think I'm getting to the level of downright creepy.

Goddamn I should write more often, so it doesn't come out in one large ball of emotion.